The Workplace of Tomorrow
Today in the Wall Street Journal, there’s an interesting story about how blogging can get you a job. Leave it to the rational bastards at the WSJ to try to make something like blogging useful. I never really thought that a blog could actually be good for anything besides keeping me from doing my homework, but there you go. Since I’ve been thinking about the future a lot lately, I figure I should probably take some action to make sure that my blog will help me find an awesome future job. So here are my qualifications for the future job that I will need to get once I leave school in the near (but not near-enough) future:
-In high-school, I used to read only sci-fi books. Thus I am familiar with over 300 different futuristic scenarios, as well as how to find a hot babe to have sex with in each of them.
-Everyone knows Asians love robots. Being Asian, I will be perfectly comfortable working with any number of robotic coworkers, which there will be a lot of in the future. And even though it’s not illegal yet, I promise I have never sexually harassed a robot. They’re just not my kind of thing. No offense to my future robotic coworkers, of course. Love ya!
-All Asians are really short, and I’m no exception. This means I will be able to easily move about in the underground tunnels humans will be forced to live in to escape global warming.
-One last thing about my being Asian: China will rule the world in the future. Seems like it might be handy to have a dude named Chen hanging around, huh?
-Speaking of global warming, I’ve been told I look great in shorts.
-Using my sixth-sense, I will be able to tell if anyone is using their lunch break for, um, less-than-savory purposes.
-Ours is quickly becoming a knowledge-based economy. Those with the best knowledge will be the ones to succeed in the workplace of tomorrow. My knowledge has no moving parts and comes complete with a kangaroo leather carrying case.
-I am not a mutant and have no plans on becoming one in the future.
Employers of tomorrow: Like what you will be seeing? Please contact me via 3D email or robotic messenger pigeon at repletewithadrian@gmail.com
