“I’m an embryo. I like to tear America apart.”
Yesterday, the Supreme Court decided to uphold a ban on late-term abortion. Them embryos just got them some saving.
I think this is a perfect time to revisit the issue of health (and science) ethics, which I initially brought up in my analog (read: paper) publication, The Pamphlette, some months ago. Also, I don’t have to write anything–an added bonus during these times of academic stress. Please read this; it’s pretty long, but I think you will have a better understanding of yourself after you’ve completed this quiz:
The Science and Health Ethics Quiz
One of the biggest arguments against new, controversial science and health developments is the “slippery slope” argument. “If we let this one, seemingly innocuous thing happen,” goes the argument, “what kind of crazy shit might this lead to in the future?” This is a good argument. Many people, when they judge the ethicality of something, look only at the present. This is wrong. People’s ethical views have been completely screwed up by looking only at the here and the now! We must be aware that every decision we make has the potential to affect humanity for thousands and millions of years in the future. Which is why we offer this new Science and Health Ethics Quiz. Our quiz looks to the future-22 million years in the future-to see how the health and science choices we make today can turn out amazingly different than we had ever expected. When making an ethical decision, one should not just think “is this ethical?” One should also think “What is a likely thing that could happen 22 million years in the future because of this decision? Will I still support my decision then?” We hope that this is a useful tool in expanding your thinking and coming to better-informed decisions.
Abortion
It is 22 million years in the future. Humanity has constructed a giant interstellar spaceship in order to flee their decaying planet. The spaceship is powered by aborted fetuses. Keep in mind that this means the more abortions there are, the faster and further the spaceship can travel. Do you get on the abortion-powered spaceship, or remain on Earth and face certain death?
Decision Key:
Spaceship = for abortion
Death = against abortion, but for suicide
Genetically Modified Food:
It is still 22 million years in the future, but before the construction of the abortion-powered spaceship. The only vegetables that can grow in the Earth’s mercury-filled soil are carrots that look and feel exactly like human fingers yet taste like-indeed, still are-carrots. But here’s the catch: humanity has developed a mutation wherein everyone is born with no fingers, and the carrots were initially developed as replacements for all of the fingerless babies. So even though the finger-carrots aren’t technically fingers, they are the closest thing to fingers left on Earth. In fact, your own fingers are all finger-carrots, except the thumbs. Those were grown on the back of a lemur. Do you eat a finger-carrot or stick with eating the colorless mush that is made of recycled human corpses? You could also not eat anything and starve to death, or eat both the finger carrot and the mush.
Decision Key:
Finger-carrot = against genetically modified food less than cannibalism
Mush = against genetically modified food more than cannibalism
Starve = against genetically modified food as much as cannibalism, but against both less than suicide
Both finger-carrot and mush = not really against genetically modified food or cannibalism
Stem Cell Research:
It is 22 million years in the future and stem cell research just didn’t pan out in the end. I mean, it looked good on paper, what with the cancer-curing and everything, but before even a single medicine was made using stem cells nanotechnology came out of nowhere and cured pretty much every disease on Earth. After that, stem cell research became a bad joke, like the 8-track of the bioscience world. On June 14th, 2106, the last stem cell line was dumped symbolically into the Indian Ocean by the last stem cell researcher, who was then dumped in herself. Of course, this all happens just 100 years in the future, so how did you find about this 22 million years in the future? Maybe it’s June 14th, 22 million years in the future, and you read about it in the “This Day In History” page in your local newspaper which, surprisingly, still exists though now in 3D. Anyway, now that you know about how stem cell research shit the bed, do you feel bad at all about the embryos needlessly destroyed for it?
Decision Key:
Yes = for needless destruction of embryos
No = against needless destruction of embryos
Physician-Assisted Suicide:
It is 22 million years in the future. Physicians are assisting suicides like crazy because the earth is so shitty, and everyone has a painful rash from walking around all day on mercury-filled soil. It’s one of those rashes where scratching it just makes it worse. Basically, everyone is just waiting around in extreme discomfort for that abortion-powered spaceship. The holographic papers are filled every day with updates on the construction of the giant abortion-powered spaceship, and Times Square has one of those giant thermometers that gradually fill up to mark the progress. The thermometer is about ¾ full. Do you get a physician to assist your suicide, given that it’s all the rage these days, or do you stick it out-rash and all-until the abortion-powered spaceship comes along (of course chances are, if you’re against assisted suicide you’re probably against the abortion-powered spaceship and you’re actually waiting around for your own death on a scorched, lifeless Earth)?
Decision Key:
Wait (if waiting for abortion-powered spaceship) = against physician-assisted suicide but for abortion
Wait (if waiting to starve to death) = against physician-assisted suicide and against abortion, but for suicide so long as it’s not physician-assisted
Physician-assisted suicide = for physician-assisted suicide
2 Comments
April 20 at 11:01 am
The creative process makes for great fiction but what purpose does it have when expecting people to accept it as truth? Proablbe as much as the bible.
April 23 at 9:52 am
Adrian,
I like your blog. Have you started smoking a lot of pot?
Sally