“very innocent”
“I am very innocent.” -New York Knicks coach Isiah Thomas in a press conference after a jury awarded a former Knicks executive $11.5 million in a sexual harassment suit she brought against him.
World of Today: Thank you for joining us, Mr. Thomas
Isiah Thomas: It is my pleasure. The sixteen readers of this blog deserve the truth.
WOT: Let’s start out with the most important question: How innocent are you?
IT: Very innocent. Extremely innocent.
WOT: Like, how innocent? On a scale from 1 to 10…
IT: I would have to say 10. 10 innocent.
WOT: …10 being absolutely guilty.
IT: Wait, what? Then it’s 1. 1 innocent.
WOT: Or 1 guilty, depending on how you look at it.
IT: I’m sorry, I must have misunderstood the scale. I am 0 innocent.
WOT: The scale is 1 to 10.
IT: Then I’m 1 innocent but 0 guilty.
WOT: It’s only one scale.
IT: Look, I am very innocent. Whatever that is on the scale. You will never meet anyone more innocent.
WOT: If completely innocent was a tiny infant and completely guilty was a grizzled old man, how old would you be?
IT: I would be young. Very young. The youngest person in the world. I would have been born right at this second.
WOT: So you would be about two seconds old now.
IT: Actually, I would probably still be in the womb. Certain organs would not yet be fully developed. At whatever point you choose to believe life begins–that’s where I would be. That’s how innocent I am.
WOT: Thank you for your time, Mr. Thomas.
IT: Thank you. I am very innocent. I am so fucking innocent it’s not even funny.
1 Comment
October 3 at 4:07 pm
You should have also quoted Isiah’s statement about how his derogatory comments towards black women is acceptable. However, if he were a white man, the comments would be unacceptable. Perhaps he doesn’t understand that sexual harassment exists irrespective of race. In his eyes, sexism is okay as long as the person is from the same race.